Reading Notes, Narayan's The Ramayana, part B

These notes come from R. K. Narayan's The Ramayana, of which I have acquired a physical copy

Although I think an epic should not be all about battles, if a battle should take place in the story, then the battle should take place in the writing! I felt it was simply silly that the scene of Rama dispatching an entire army of demons was given only four sentences of content. If I choose to do a writing from part B, I would choose to review this battle in some way.

In this section of Rama living in exile, Soorpanaka, who is Ravana's sister, has fallen in love with Rama, but in stalking sita has had her nose, ears, and breasts cut off by Lakshmana. She retreats to the demon encampment, where her stepbrother, Kara, is commanding a demon army and 12 powerful demon lieutenants. Soorpanaka commands him to get revenge, although she ultimately wants Rama for herself. Kara sends his 12 lieutenants and Soorpanaka. Soorpanaka points to Rama and tells the 12 to keep him alive. Rama defeated them easily. Soorpanaka fled and talked to Kara again, who blew his tocsin to gather his entire army. They surrounded the jungle cottage, started screaming madly to scare their victims, they clanged their weapons and wove them about in the air. "The result was the same as before," was the only other description given. Soorpanaka watched from afar and fled to her brother once the battle was lost.

I think this story should portray a much more brutal battleground. In my view, an army of demons do not simply sneak up and surround a small hut in the jungle. I imagine the demon army would look like this, and the surrounding landscape would look similar.

Image Information

(Demon Army - unfortunately, I couldn't find an original artist, but I found the image being used similarly here)

Reading Notes: Narayan's The Ramayana, part A

These notes come from R. K. Narayan's The Ramayana, of which I have acquired a physical copy 

I really liked the imagery and setting of Rama's journey through the desert and his battle with Thataka. However, I felt like the actual story of Thataka came more as an interruption. I want to explore shortening the story, and having it come naturally as a dialogue between Rama, Lakshmana, and Viswamithra. In the story, first the group arrives at a seclusion where many saints come and pray to Shiva because Shiva himself had meditated there. It is full of incense. They spend the night after being welcomed by many hermits (who I assume are the saints praying?) The next day they arrive at the desert. It is described as the harshest desert known to man, with vast sand and fissures, and no vegetation. Many bones remained scattered and bleached by the sun, including the skeletons of great snakes who could eat elephants whole. Heat waves were said to reach the sky. Viswamithra put some magic (Mantras, called Bala and Adi-Bala) which would allow himself and the boys to feel not as if they're walking through the desert, but through a pleasant stream with a light summer breeze on their faces. Rama asks why the desert is so terrible, and Viswamithra tells him that Thataka made it so. She was the daughter of Suketha, who was a yaksha ("a demigod of great valor, might, and purity"). Thataka married Sunda, a chief of the region (which was lush with life at the time). She gave birth to her two sons, Subahu and Mareecha, who were given great powers from being her sons. But they laid waste to the land around them, and their father joined in "delighted" at their actions. I think this could be revised, for it is listed as their pranks and rough housing. They pulled up trees and threw them about. But a great savant (saint)  grew angry at the father for pulling up a tree and killed him. Thataka and her sons decided to attack the saint for revenge, but he cursed them all to be demons. The sons left this world to seek the company of other demons, but she stayed and withered the land with heat. It is said that she carries a trident, breathes fire, and has a snake for an arm band. She eats anything that moves within her desert. Afterwards, she arrives as if from nowhere, and Rama fights and kills her. I don't think I'll write about the fight, but just in case, he breaks her trident with an arrow, breaks some great rocks that she hurls with his arrows, and shoots an arrow in her throat.

I'm not sure if I want to actually have Thataka appear in my story yet. Unfortunately, most google images portray her as just a giant woman. I want to emphasize the part where, under the curse, "her features became forbidding." I want to portray her as terrifying and ugly: the snake armband made me think of a Gorgon from greek mythology. I will probably describe her something like this image, which (by fair use I must say) is Euryale from the God of War franchise.

Image Information

(Gorgon - God of War Wiki)

Receiving Feedback Thoughts

For the introduction to receiving feedback, I read these articles: 5 tips for receiving feedback like a champ, and overcoming the fear of feedback.  I guess I went into the first article with some high expectations: some 5 step process to immediately be better at getting feedback. What I ultimately found was that I think simply reminding yourself to remain in a growth mindset is basically the best way to view things. I definitely used to be terrible at receiving feedback; I can remember a time when I got in a fight with my mom over things she thought I should change in elementary school. But nowadays, I think I'm better at receiving critical feedback. I'm far from "receiving feedback like a champ," but I can usually make myself think of receiving feedback as a good thing instead of as an attack. One of the ways that I can generally help myself receive feedback is to simply ask people why they think I'm doing something wrong; opening a dialogue with critics can really help to understand why something was wrong, and what can be done in the future for similar situations. Although I have high school nightmares of getting back a paper with red ink all over it, I can honestly say the worst feedback memory I have was in a college english class. My critic simply said they liked my paper, and wouldn't change anything. I hated that; I wanted to make it better, I knew it wasn't perfect (and my professor certainly knew it wasn't perfect,) but I didn't have a chance to improve it. In my experience, everyone can find a way they would make something better, so when someone says something is fine the way it is, they generally mean that they don't care enough to really look into it.

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(A Terrible Example of Constructive Criticism - Widewalls)

Topic Brainstorm

After exploring the topics, I have a few ideas of possible storybook topics.

The first would be the Maya. The concept of illusion and what is real is prevalent in many cultures, but it seems like Maya takes that concept to a higher level than most. I also think that the concept of a reader knowing something that the antagonist of a story does not know can make for some very tense storytelling; it seems like doing some research about the Maya and employing it in some stories could make for some very compelling writing. I haven't dabbled in horror writing before, so that is something I will keep in the realm of possibilities.

My second topic idea is Ravana. I have a good appreciation for a good villain: good heroes are easy to find, in my opinion, but a good villain can make or break a story. Although I haven't yet gotten the full exposure of the Ramayana, what I have read about him seems promising. I don't know what stories I would tell about him, but I am not opposed to the idea of writing my own stories after reading the Ramayana.

My third topic is the Nagas. I find it very interesting that snakes take the form of wise and powerful beings that, from what I've read, are benevolent creatures. Seeing as cobras are extremely venomous, I find it almost contradictory that snakes are held as creatures of good. I guess it's strange to me that snakes are usually associated with evil in western culture, even outside of religion. I don't know what stories I would write about the Nagas, or any Nagas in particular, I just find them interesting and would enjoy researching them further.

Lastly, my fourth topic is not yet on the list (from what I could see at least). I have always loved vampire mythology (although I think they've received a bad wrap in the 21st century,) and one of the interesting facts of vampire mythology is that most cultures from entirely different parts of the world have creatures similar to vampires. So my fourth topic would explore one creature or creatures in Indian mythology that are similar to vampires. Some of the possibilities I've found are vetala, pisacha, the Riri Yaka, and even rakashasas by some descriptions, although easily accessible internet information on any of those are sparse. I could do a storybook on each of them, or focus on one in particular.

Image Information
(Vetala - Wikipedia)

Week 2 Story: The Prince of the Lotuses, part 2

            When the prince arrived at the pond, his hair stood on end. The pond was small in size, yes, but undoubtedly deep, and unnaturally dark. Many lotus flowers grew around the edge of the pond, but right in the center grew a single blue lotus, which seemed to glow against the black backdrop of the water. The mud around the pond was still damp, but it held shapes well. Hundreds of footprints, many of which belonged to monkeys not unlike the prince himself, went into the pond near the lotuses, but none seemed to come out.

            The prince was a strong swimmer, but he was fearful of the dark waters of the pond, and what might lurk within. With his incredible strength, he lifted a small boulder over his head, and threw it down among the lotus flowers. As the rock hit the water, the pond erupted with turmoil, and a huge head shot froth from the center of the pond, biting down on the boulder. The prince leaped backwards, but realizing he was out of the beast’s reach, he relaxed. As the ogre spied the monkey, he retreated into the waters, but his eyes stayed above the surface, watching the prince’s every move.

            “Great ogre, I’ve come to bargain,” the prince said.

            The ogre raised his head so his lips were out of the dark waters, but no more. “You have nothing I want, save your flesh. I was promised a strong monkey to eat once a year, and I haven’t had such a meal in almost two.”

            “Were you promised those meals by the monkey king of this jungle?” the prince asked, though he already knew the answer.

            The ogre’s eyes shifted as he paused, but growled “yes,” through his yellow fangs.

            “If you help me, you’ll get your meal, and revenge against the king for the year he was overdue,” the prince replied, “but if you hinder me, I’ll devote my life to making sure no other creature stumbles into your waters.”

            The ogre smirked, but only the corners of his evil mouth were visible above the water’s surface. “Clever monkey. Tell me what your price is.”

            “The monkey king is my father. He wishes me dead, so he sent me here to collect the blue lotus that only grows in your pond. Bring me that lotus, five of the white lotuses, and five of the pink lotuses, and I will bring my father back here. I will come in the water first, and then he will. He is yours to eat. You can eat me first if you wish to betray me, but you will never get your revenge for his broken promise. He wants me dead, so he will be happy if you eat me, and he will never come close to your waters again.”

            “As you wish…” the ogre whispered as he lowered his head back into the water, bubbling out the last word before disappearing from sight. But as the water settled, the blue lotus floated slowly over to edge of the water, and a long black arm scooped up the prince’s desired lotuses and dumped them on the shore.

            After gathering all the flowers, the prince returned to the palace. When he entered the throne room, the monkey king looked dumbfounded, but said “My son, you have returned so quickly! I haven’t even prepared the ceremony yet. I am greatly impressed.”

            “Father, my king, that pond was so lovely! But I barely wet my feet getting the blue lotus because I didn’t want to be soaking wet for the ceremony. Can we go for a swim tonight, and have the ceremony tomorrow?”

The king smirked, for he didn’t truly want to crown his son, and hoped the ogre would eat the prince this time. He quickly replied, “Of course my son. It will be a lovely time spent together.” The king and the prince walked back to the pond, which looked as still as it had before.

“Come on in father! The water is lovely,” the prince laughed as he jumped into the water. He splashed around for a minute before the king finally started into the water. That darn ogre must have died or moved to a different pond. No matter, I won’t have any issue drowning the boy, the king thought to himself. But the moment his foot touched the water, a great hand grabbed the king’s entire leg, and the prince’s father was never seen again.

When the prince returned to the palace, he told the guards that a great ogre had eaten his father, and he had barely escaped with his own life. The guards believed it, for they knew of the ogre’s pond, and many of them had thought the king was cruel and cowardly for sending his enemies there. The prince was crowned king and ruled benevolently over the jungle. Years later, he took a wife and made her queen, and he lived the rest of his life happily with his many sons and daughters, none of which he ever tried to kill.

Author’s Note: this writing is based on the story The Monkey who Gathered Lotuses. This is the second half. The first half is in the post before this one. In the original, the prince notices that the pond is inhabited by an ogre. This is where my version and the original greatly start to differ. In the original, the monkey skillfully collects the lotuses without touching the water. The ogre then praises him, and makes up a rhyme about how skillful the monkey is. Then the ogre offers to carry the many lotuses for the prince, and when the king sees the ogre carrying the lotuses, his heart explodes. I thought this ending felt out of place and anticlimactic, so I changed the ending, and otherwise tried to make the story more visual and exciting.

Original Story: The Monkey who Gathered Lotuses

Week 2 Story: The Prince of the Lotuses, part 1

            The air became cool and damp as the monkey prince walked into the shade of the jungle. It was not cold by any means, but after the half day’s walk under the sun, it felt pleasant, and in a way reminded him of his home in the mountains. This was a different kind of cold; the jungle’s air was invigorating, but the mountain’s was bitter and unforgiving. The prince loosened his fur and let the air touch his skin.

            The prince knew nothing about jungles. He was born and raised on the peak of a mountain not far away, and the mountain had made him hard and strong, but he had never left the peaks. He knew the way to walk so the snow didn’t break beneath his feet, and he knew the smell of a blizzard that was two days away. But the jungle was new to him, and although he was not frightened, he was not comfortable either.

            The only thing the prince knew about this jungle was that his father ruled every tree west of the river. It was the only thing his mother had ever said about his father. “Your father is the king of a jungle. But he isn’t a good king, and he isn’t a good father.” That was all his mother would say: as many questions as the prince had asked, she would never answer the ones about the king, even on her deathbed. But she had pointed one day to the jungle where she had once reigned as queen, and the prince never forgot where it was.

            As the prince walked, he saw a great palace with many guards high in the treetops. 

When he approached the entrance, a great monkey blocked his way, and said “Halt, stranger. What business have you with the king?”

            “My mother told me the king is my father. I have no proof, but I wish to meet him,” the prince stated methodically. The palace guard eyed him suspiciously, but saw the prince’s resemblance to the king. “Come with me,” he said, and he led the prince to the throne room.

            The throne room doors were thrity feet tall and weighed more than ten elephants, and it took many monkeys to open them. As they swung open, the prince eyed the king, and he knew immediately that he had found his father. The monkey’s face looked the same as the prince’s, only older. His father’s fur was graying, but only slightly, and his muscles had not receded with age. The king was greater in size and stature than all the guards, but the prince knew that his own strength was greater just by looking.

            The king looked at the prince, and his eyes lit up. “My son, I would know your face anywhere. What a joyful day this is!” As he spoke, he walked toward his son, but his face flicked with fear, not love. The prince watched as his father eyed his son’s muscles. The king’s arms stretched outwards as he said “Come, son, give your father a hug.”

The prince walked toward his father, but he was dubious of his newfound father. Although he had come to see his dad, he had not forgotten his mother’s only words about the king. The prince hugged his father, but he did not feel the love he felt when his mother had used to hug him. His father squeezed tightly, but he could not quite wrap his arms all the way around his son’s muscular back.

            The king smiled at the prince, and said, “What an excellent time for you to arrive! I was just telling the guards’ commander that I would need to crown a new king soon. I am getting quite old you know!” The king let out a laugh, and the guards laughed with him. “My son, we can crown you tonight! But for the ceremony, we will need lotus flowers. We need five white lotuses and five pink lotuses. But most importantly, we need one of the rare blue lotuses That only grow in the small pond to the south. Can you gather them while I prepare the throne room?”

            “Absolutely father. I won’t let you down.” The prince left the palace, and the great throne room doors shut slowly behind him. 

Author’s Note: this writing is based on the story The Monkey who Gathered Lotuses, linked below. This post is only the first half of the story, to keep the post under 1000 words. In the first half of the original story, the monkey prince's mother tells him that his father is a king but wants to kill him. The prince goes to his father, who tries to kill him with a mighty squeeze (to look like a hug) but cannot, so the father tells his son that he wishes to make the son king, but that the son must go collect a number of lotuses from a nearby pond. The only significant changes I made in the first half of the story is to keep the reader from knowing the father wants to kill his son. It is heavily implied, but not overtly stated. 

Original Story: The Monkey who Gathered Lotuses

Image information - (fantasy forest - I edited the original to make it more fitting for the story)