Friday, March 2, 2018

Week 7 Storytelling: Brawl in the Night


This story is from a public domain edition of Mahabharata, which contains the story of Bhima and Hidimbi


Bhima wiped the sweat from his brow but found a few drops of blood mixed with the salty water. He was breathing heavily despite his physique; he hadn’t fought like this since the last tournament with the Kaurava brothers. Then again, at the tournament he had been fighting more for pride than for his life. This was different.
             Hidimba stared down at him from 10 feet away. The rakshasa was grimacing, or so it appeared; his mouth was a shapeless hole lined on every side with needle-like teeth. He stood close in height to three men, and if Bhima were to look straight ahead, he would see the demon’s waist. Even out of arm’s reach, Bhima could smell the creature’s fetid breath, which stank of rotting meat and sulfur.  Despite his own fatigue from the fight, Bhima saw no signs of tiring from the demon.
            Bhima took 3 more breaths and, seeing the demon’s impatience building, charged forward once more. Hidimba’s huge arm shot out but Bhima was quicker. He curled his arm around his head, blocking the punch, and ducked under the demon’s arm. With a great leap, he placed his foot on Hidimba’s fleshy knee and kicked off hard, thrusting his curled fist into the rakshasa’s jaw. The uppercut would easily have killed a man, but the demon’s bone barely shook.
            Hidimba flinched, but only for a fraction of a second. Before Bhima had landed on the ground again, Hidimba’s leg smashed into his torso, and his body wrapped around the demon’s calf. Bhima sored through the air and slammed into a great tree, wider around than 3 men’s reach. It splintered at the impact and came falling down towards Hidimba, who casually turned his body to dodge it. The bark nearly scraped his dagger like nose.
            “What’s wrong, dinner? Tiring out so soon?” Hidimba chuckled to himself while walking towards Bhima. “I was really hungering for a steak, but I suppose ground human will do for the night.” The demon’s tongue slathered out of his mouth and licked his lips; they dribbled drool down his face.
            As Bhima raised himself from the ground, Hidimba charged forward at blazing speed. Bhima’s left hand grabbed the demon’s right fist, but Hidimba’s other hand caught him square on the cheekbone. Bhima felt the bone fracture, and his cheek stung like fire. He was sent flying once more, but where he landed he stood up again. He charged at the demon, ducking under the gigantic arm as it attempted to stop him, and plunged his left fist deep into the demon’s stomach. He heard Hidimba gasp for breath, but a boulder sized knee still caught Bhima in the face. He felt another stream of blood begin to trickle down his forehead.


            “Will you not die already? If I have to keep beating you, I’ll need to find another dinner just to fill my belly.” The demon raised his arm and slammed it down onto his prey. Bhima caught it with his left hand but could only match the demon’s strength for a few seconds. As Bhima collapsed on the ground, Hidimba opened his mouth wider than an elephant and lunged at Bhima. However, the gaping maw closed around nothing, and the demon was sent reeling as a fist impacted his right eye. The demon retreated a few feet, howling in pain.
            “You know, you’re a lot tougher than you look,” Bhima said in between breaths. He wiped the blood out of his eyes before continuing. “I really thought you would be a mild workout. I’ve fought demons your size, but none of them gave me much trouble.” He squared up once more as Hidimba ceased his shrieking. “I seem to have underestimated you.”
            Hidimba began his stride, coming again at his prey. “You will pay for that with your life. You may be quick, but your luck will soon run out. There’s barely any life left in you.” Despite his haughty nature, his eye was had begun swelling, and his cocky grimace had been replaced by a raging scowl. He looked serious for the first time in the fight.
            “I have something to confess though,” Bhima stated, with his hands in front of his head. Even as the blood ran down both sides of his face, he stared straight into Hidimba’s eyes and smirked. “I really thought I could beat you with just my left hand.” With that, Bhima charged forward once more. The demon’s leg flew up to meet him, but with both arms, Bhima grabbed the hideous foot and flung the demon to the ground. Hidimba’s fist snapped towards his enemy’s face, fast enough to stir the air for a thousand feet, but Bhima blocked the shot with his good hand. In a flash, Bhima launched himself at the demon’s face, and his right hand connected with the demon’s jaw. The bone shattered, and the demon once again howled in pain.
            Hidimba scrambled, trying to climb off the ground. He took two steps away, but Bhima appeared as if from nowhere and landed another blow with his right hand. This time, the demon’s eye fell from its socket and plopped on the ground. Hidimba crawled blindly, aimlessly, trying to escape in any manner possible, but he soon felt the human hands grabbing him.
            Bhima lifted the demon above his head, one hand where Hidimba’s back met his waste, and his other hand tangled in Hidimba’s matted red hair. He held the rakshasa high above his head, with Bhima’s arms fully extended. Then, with all his might, Bhima threw the demon down, and Hidimba’s spine met Bhima’s knee. A sickening crack rang through the forest, waking every sleeping creature for ten miles. The Pandava brother laid the demon’s body down on the forest floor, and returned to find his brothers awake, all wondering what the great snapping sound had been.
           

Author's note: In general, I try to avoid describing fights, but today I was in the mood. In the original story of Bhima and Hidimba, Hidimba sends his sister to catch the Pandava brothers. However, when she sees Bhima, she falls in love. Thus, Hidimba gets impatient and comes to kill them himself. Bhima drags him off into the forest to try to avoid waking his brothers and fights the demon. He eventually breaks the demon's back over his knee. I added a full description of the fight, and remonved some of the sillier parts of the story (such as the brothers waking up even though Bhima dragged the demon off). Additionally, Bhima is often portrayed as both arrogant and aggressive, so although there was no mention of him fighting with one hand, I thought it was rather in character.

Image Info
Hidimba - Deviant Art

5 comments:

  1. Hey again Nate! Fantastic story as always. Your use of descriptors really adds a unique element to your stories and never fails to immerse the reader. I really enjoyed how you drop the reader directly into a stare down between Bhima and Hidimba. Your introduction of details about Hidimba slowly throughout the course of the fight keeps the reader engaged and slowly builds on a mental image of him until at last you capture it with that image. Well done!

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  2. Hi Nate! Wow maybe you should be in the mood to describe fights more often because this was awesome! The descriptive words you used made me feel like I was in your story while I was reading it. I think you did a really fantastic job with making the story your own while keeping a lot of the same elements. Good luck in the rest of your story writing I look forward to reading more from you!

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  3. Hi Nate!

    I wrote about Bhima in one of my stories too, except I wrote about how he took down that hungry demon that was stealing from that village. I love the pic you used in your story! Very descriptive and helpful to the story. And I enjoyed the bloody action in the fight. Great narration.

    Britt.

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  4. Nate, for someone who does not frequently describe fights, the details in this story were fantastic. You gave a blow by blow account without making it feel repetitive, each action and reaction were unique, and had their own surrounding circumstance to make the whole story continually move forward. Starting with the description of the demon was another nice touch, it allowed me to create a visual before starting into the heart of the story.

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  5. Hey Nate! Another great story this week! I liked that you decided to delve into describing fights. It is something that I have been wanting more of in your stories. Your writing flows so well that I felt describing fights would be easy for you. And I was right. In your fourth paragraph you used “sored” and I think you want “soared” there.

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